Mmmmm, drool

I woke up this morning startled and really frightened. I felt like someone was pouring really slimey water all over my face. So I sat up quick as a whip and looked around to find the culprate. Except no one was there. It was then that it hit me, I drooled all over myself. I'm not talking about a little drool. It was like I had purposely filled my mouth with liquid and kept it there over night so that it could gain volume with my saliva. The worst part of drooling on yourself isn't the actual act of it, it's that there's no one else to blame. At least if I had picked up some shady chick in a bar and brought her home, I could be like "So, I brought this chick home and she drooled all over me!" The important part of this isn't that she would have drooled on me, it would be that I brought a woman back with me. But, unfortunately now all I have is the consolation that not only did my charm fail me last night, but you know it's not going to be a good day when you wake up to your own slobber. You know what I'm saying? Especially when it wakes you up early, you're like...fuck, today is going to suck ass! Maybe I should put some paper towels on my pillow tonight, or maybe I shouldn't tell everyone about my excessive bodily fluid issue, cause if some hot chick is reading this who before would have slept with me...not anymore.